July 21, 2024

Stitches shines bright with MLB All-Star Game victory

Stitches Secretary of Comedy Jimmy “Joker” Durda with some All-Star laughs: Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had passed away Katie went straight to her 95-year-old grandma’s house to comfort her.

She asked what happened.

Her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we made love Sunday morning.”

Rockies catcher Elias Diaz hits a two-run home run in the eighth inning to give the National League the lead in Tuesday night’s All-Star Game.

Shocked, Katie told her that two people nearly 100 years old having sex is asking for trouble.

“No, no my dear. Years ago we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would ring. Just the right rhythm. Slow and even. Nothing strenuous.”

She paused and continued. “He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.”

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Night of 100 stars.

None brighter than Stitches.

The Rockies’ Elias Diaz hit a two-run jack in the eighth inning, the Phillies’ Craig Kimbrel closed the door in the ninth and the National League held on 3-2.

Winner. Down -1,149 clementes.

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