Hallmark Mystery meets haute couture in Crimes of Fashion: Killer Clutch, a new whodunit starring Brooke D’Orsay and Gilles Marini. Wait — Hallmark Mystery is going to Paris Fashion Week? The channel that’s cornered the market on cozy, small-town murder mysteries is suddenly breaking into the upper echelons of high fashion? This is something you gotta see, but does Hallmark’s attempt at cutting-edge Parisian style make the cut, or should this project have never left the runway?
CRIMES OF FASHION: KILLER CLUTCH: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?
The Gist: Brooke D’Orsay (A Fabled Holiday) plays Lauren, a fashion psychologist which — oh my god, is actually a real profession. So stifle your laughter, because Lauren is actually a leading figure in a very fake sounding but very real field of psychology! Anyway — Lauren is a “cognitive psychologist who applies science to fashion” and, when you factor in that her dad was a police officer, you have the makings of a lead character in a series of Hallmark Mystery movies. Lauren’s first foray into crime-solving begins innocently enough: her longtime bestie Charlotte (Paloma Coquant) brings Lauren on to coach fashion designer Virgil (François Legrand) through your run of the mill pre-fashion week freakout. But Lauren does too good job and Virgil hires her to keep his head on straight during Paris Fashion Week. Pack your bags, girl, you’re going to Paris!
But where is the mystery? More importantly, where is the murder? Why, it’s in Paris, of course! The body count hits 1 during the first showing of Virgil’s line — and Lauren gets involved when the police initially pin the blame on her friend Charlotte. Lauren knows how the mind works and she has a lifetime of being raised by a cop. Surely she can clear her friend’s name and prevent more bodies from hitting the floor. There’s only one thing standing in her way: a hunky, by-the-books French cop named Andre (Days of Our Lives‘ Gilles Marini). He already has a partner and he doesn’t need a fashion psychologist running around disturbing crime scenes!
Does Lauren have this case all sewn up? Or will it take the ultimate collab to stop this couture criminal?
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Of course there’s The Devil Wears Prada and, on the TV side, Emily in Paris. But the vibes I got the instant Virgil’s models started walking took me back to Murder, She Wrote, Hart to Hart, or The Love Boat — the episodes where primetime ’80s television met high fashion. Killer Clutch is giving Halston on Love Boat and I’m here for it.
Performance Worth Watching: Surprisingly, all of the Paris fashion people feel dead-on — well, dead-on as filtered through Hallmark. But I appreciate Virgil’s styling, all the aggressively flashy blazers and the Karl Lagerfeld-esque gloves. And I have to praise Eva Magyar, who gives fashionista Diana a real Anna Wintour intensity.
Memorable Dialogue: “It is your fortune that you are too ridiculous to be taken seriously.” Put Diana in every single Hallmark Mystery movie. I don’t care how, just do it.
Our Take: After A Paris Proposal and Joyeux Noel last year, Crimes of Fashion confirms that France of all countries is a mainstay of the Hallmark movie brand. And I gotta say — c’est super! J’adore cette décision! C’est peut-être à cause d’un allégement fiscal, mais je m’en fiche! Seriously — whatever deal Hallmark may or may not have with France is paying dividends. Dropping any Hallmark story in a gorgeous country like France, particularly Paris, instantly kicks up the production value and, more importantly, the romance.
Unlike the other two French Hallmark movies that come to mind, Crimes of Fashion does run the risk of not living up to its setting. If you’re going to set an entire movie in the fashion world, particularly Paris Fashion Week, then you have to come correct with the style — and Hallmark is a brand most associated with chunky sweaters and cozy blankets. Killer Clutch came through in the clutch and delivered fashion that’s absolutely believable as Paris runway ready.
The fashions in Crimes of Fashion work so well because they are Parisian parts of a larger whole. The set decoration, the locations, the costuming, the music — lord, the music! — all come together to create something that feels luxe, not just for Hallmark but for all of cable TV. It’s a rich movie.
That’s a lot of words about the aesthetic, but what about the story? Brooke D’Orsay is one of Hallmark’s heaviest hitters, so you know she’s going to bring the goods no matter the story. And as Lauren, we get to see D’Orsay play a character who is essentially as good of an actress as she is — albeit to different ends. The scenes where Lauren uses her knowledge of personality types to subtly manipulate people into giving her information are fantastic, and my only real complaint is that I could have used a lot more of those.
And while Crimes of Fashion’s world felt expansive — you have to have a lot of murder suspects and potential victims in a movie like this — Lauren still felt a little isolated. With her best friend behind bars and Andre a very, very reluctant partner, I felt a tiny void where a comic relief sidekick could have been. The movie just needed a touch more spice to liven things up, and there were plenty of characters that could have done just that with a tweak of the plot. That’s a minor nitpick, because I thought Gilles Marini paired well with D’Orsay… and it will be great to watch their chemistry simmer in future installments, Hallmark!
Our Call: STREAM IT. Crimes of Fashion: Killer Clutch may be a bit of a slow start, but it’s a possible franchise-starter with a lot of potential — and that French backdrop elevates the whole affair.
